On the 29th of December 2015 , doctors held the next 6 months of my dear life in their hand. The results where announced to me a few days or so later, but it took over a week to really sink in and accept that that tiny bump which, at first glance seemed insignificant even to the specialist, was really Breast Cancer.
Yes , I was angry- I live a healthy life and try to create as much awareness about breast cancer even through my line of work…yet , life has its own sense of humor. I blamed it on my genes (f*cked up DNA -check) , and a decade of contraceptive pill to ‘fix’ my heavy periods (at 17 you still rely on what ‘grown ups’ tell you). And although I really believe that those factors highly contributed to my current situation, I came to a point of accepting it as another challenge.
The challenge doesn’t always mean ‘fighting’ breast cancer as if it was some entity – a him/she ” if only it was that easy- I would have kicked the bloody bastard out of my life with all I hold dear to me… Those who really know me know I’m all for a good fight …for a good cause of coarse.”
Cancer is more of a psychological fight. A fight that can bring along stigma about your life style choices. The fact that I choose a considerably healthy life gave me some sort of peace of mind that there are things which are out of my control. Ok, stop…if I could go back in time a month or so ago I would have FREAKED out at what I’ve just written- ME having no control over this was out of the equation- big NO NO… But oh boy how things change so quickly.
What started as a Facebook post, turned out to be more of a ‘diary entry’ – i was always so judgmental about such post and now I’m the one doing it – *ewww* *face palm*…. Anyway, I just wanted to explain why I’m missing out on events or not taking certain bookings to all my dear clients and friends. Thank God , life gifted me with such incredible people that my little ever growing business can still take off without me being constantly present.
Everything will go on as usual; orders will be made and delivered , kids parties will be held and my little soap shop will still offer the support to those who want to experience a healthier and more beautiful lifestyle. I even loved my latest tv interview which was held 3 days after my chemotherapy session- shaved hair , red lips and high heels. This how I’m going to fight this.
I’m still a strong believer of living at your optimum level – the correct food and right cosmetics to support properly the function of the body ; meditation to support a healthy mind and most importantly fueling on positive energy by those around you to help you carry all the heavy emotional baggage that cancer brings along with it. It can be very easy to shut out everyone to prove to the world that you are able to do it by yourself. It’s ok not to be strong all the time, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be sad – it’s normal to feel alone…. Yet you never really are- just really dig down and you’ll see.
I hope to have the energy to continue sharing my experience through my treatment. I hope this experience and whatever I learn can be of some use to others as well.
Any form of prayers are also welcome .
Be well and take care. Charly X